At 30, Maddi Letterman reached a point where she knew something had to change.
Living alone in a rundown commission home in Melbourne’s north-west, struggling with addiction, trauma and overwhelming mental health challenges, she felt trapped in a cycle she could no longer escape.
“I couldn’t go on like this any longer,” Maddi said.
“At that stage, I would prefer to be dead. It was either being dead or alive and I knew I had to choose.”
Today, Maddi’s life looks very different.
Now living in Geelong, the 32-year-old works as an administration officer with disability provider Maudcare after first joining the organisation as a peer mentor. She goes to the gym regularly, teaches Reiki, supports National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) participants and has rebuilt important relationships with family, including sharing care of her nine-year-old daughter, Aria.
But getting there took years of hard work, healing and support.
Maddi joined the NDIS around 2020 while navigating complex PTSD, addiction and other disabilities.
“I felt like I had been diagnosed with everything under the sun,” she said.
“But to me diagnoses aren’t even relevant anymore. I don’t like labels. When you start labelling things, you can start limiting yourself.
“If anything, I think you can push beyond those limits.”
Growing up in Melbourne, Maddi said she started experimenting with drugs at just 14 after spending time around older people using methamphetamine.
“I always felt I was always an intense child,” she said.
“I had really strong emotions and I wasn’t very good at regulating them.”
Years later, she was diagnosed with ADHD, which she now sees differently.
“It can be like a superpower when you use it for the right reasons,” she said.
Maddi’s road through addiction and trauma was marked by abusive relationships, homelessness, grief and heartbreak.
One former partner died from a drug overdose shortly after their relationship ended.
“That trauma was huge,” she said.
“I felt so guilty and I couldn’t come to terms with it.”
Later, after the birth of her son, Maddi relapsed into drug and alcohol use while trapped in another controlling relationship. Eventually, her son’s father gained custody.
“He would be 13 now and I haven’t seen him since he was three,” she said.
“That’s still something I’m navigating. We all make mistakes in life, but you never stop loving your children.”
As her life spiralled, Maddi said she became vulnerable to dangerous people and increasingly isolated.
“I really hit rock bottom,” she said.
“I was letting people into my home who were smashing windows and doing all sorts of crazy stuff.
“Now I look back and I can’t believe I lived like that.”
Eventually, Maddi organised respite support through the NDIS and travelled to Queensland to undergo weeks of rehab at a retreat. It became a turning point.
“I finally felt like I was home,” she said.
“I met kind people. I was eating healthy food, seeing therapists, doing yoga and hypnotherapy. It was the first time in a long time I felt peace.”
Returning home sober was only the beginning.
Maddi said NDIS-funded support workers played a critical role helping her rebuild the everyday skills and routines many people take for granted.
“I had nothing when I came back – no job, no routine, nothing I needed to get up for. You lose all your skills,” she said.
“My support workers helped me get organised, took me to appointments, grocery shopping and to the gym. They helped me learn how to live life again.”
At one point, Maddi was too anxious to leave the house alone.
“They helped me build my confidence back up,” she said.
“Now I go hiking and to the gym four or five times a week on my own.”
Alongside practical supports, Maddi credits years of therapy with helping her process trauma and move forward.
“My psychologist has stood by me through everything,” she said. “We did weekly sessions from the very beginning.”
Two years ago, Maddi took another major step forward when she joined Maudcare.
Initially employed as a peer mentor, her lived experience quickly became one of her greatest strengths.
Maudcare manager Luke said he immediately recognised Maddi’s potential.
“When Maddi came in for her interview, I could see she was ready for change,” he said.
“Maddi had a level of strength and lived experience you can’t teach. She’s amazing with participants, especially people with psychosocial disabilities, because she genuinely understands what they’re going through.”
Luke said Maddi’s empathy and authenticity made a lasting impact on participants and staff alike.
“Maddi’s been on the ground level herself,” he said. “That allows her to connect with people in a really authentic way.”
As her confidence grew, Maddi moved into office administration and now helps support peer mentors, participants and families across the organisation.
“Everyone loves her,” Luke said. “She’s become such an important part of Maudcare.”
For Maddi, being given an opportunity to work has been life changing.
“Luke and Adam gave me a start when I really needed one,” she said.
“I’ve always felt really connected to Maudcare, the participants and the vision behind it all.
“It’s lovely being part of something where you can just be yourself. It feels solid, real and authentic.”
Today, Maddi hopes sharing her story will encourage others who may feel stuck in their own struggles.
“You have to believe your experiences count for something,” she said.
“Even the terrible things can teach you empathy and help you become a better person.
“The light will always open up the darkest corners eventually, as long as you keep trying.”
Luke believes Maddi’s journey shows the power of compassion, support and second chances.
“People who go through trauma and turn their lives around often become the people most capable of helping others,” he said.
“That wisdom and empathy can change somebody else’s life forever.”
For Maddi, recovery is no longer about surviving.
It’s about connection, purpose and giving back.
“You realise memories and relationships matter more than material things,” she said.
“Now I just want to help people if I can. That’s what gives life meaning.”
